Midway Through Getting Fucked
I was stressing out. Bad. I'm just not cut out for live shows. I mean, I have social anxiety! Severe social anxiety. My autism was going crazy on me. I was chain-smoking, had burned through two whole packs within half an hour, my fingers yellow with it, and my foot was going to tap a hole straight into the floor. The venue smelled like beer and my own smoke.
Then Johnny says, "If sucking helps, I know something better you can suck on." He strokes his bulge over his jeans, slow, so I can see the shape of it move. Yeah. He actually meant it — that I should suck him.
So he pulls me into the other room and he unzips his pants and I go down on my knees and take it into my mouth. He was right. Sucking on his dick did help. I sucked desperately, sucked hard on it like my life depended on it, all that nervous energy finally going somewhere. He told me to slow down, that we should take our time. But I really needed it down my throat, so I didn't particularly listen. He got hard fast. Rock hard, heavy on my tongue, and his smell was making me warm all over, that smell of denim and sweat. The zipper was catching against my chin, so I pulled his pants down properly.
Meanwhile the other guys were talking in the room right next to us. No stress. Nothing. How? Why? I could hear Jinho laughing at something, and it was like they lived in a different world than the one going on in my chest.
Anyway, I was grateful Johnny came up with this idea. It was working. Yeah, I know what my therapist would say "you use sex to regulate stress" and the answer would be "yeah, I do, and it works." I was hard. My hole was clenching on its own, in time with my heartbeat, empty and greedy.
Johnny held my head with both hands and came in my mouth. Warm and I swallowed it all down and stayed there with my eyes shut.
But my stress would come creeping back, so I went on. He asked for a second to recover, but we were both high, we had to be, for the live, so his dick responded fast. He let me suck on it while he was trying to catch his breath, and I felt it growing hard again inside my mouth, filling back up.
Then Seojun walked in on us and said I had to sing in a bit and had to preserve my throat, we shouldn't overdo it. I didn't care at that moment. But Johnny listened , he pulled me off and said, "Let me fuck you."
I didn't want to let his dick out of my mouth, but he forced me up and let me suck on his tongue instead. So he pulled my shorts down and laid me out on the leather sofa, and I wouldn't part from his mouth, not for a second. He slid his finger into my asshole, spat on it. Twice. Then pushed his dick in.
I just wished this would never end. I'd forgotten the live. The stress. Everything. I was feeling warm and cozy and on fire all at once, the leather sticking to my back, and I purred like a cat, Johnny said. He was all over me, hands in my hair, mouth on my neck, breathing hot into my ear.
We fucked till the guys opened the door and said, "It's time, we're on. Come on, what are you doing." So we had to make it fast. Johnny was about to cum, he went fast to finish, that short brutal rhythm, and it turned me on insanely. But it was time. I had to get on stage. Cum dripping out of my ass, I had to pull my shorts up over it and feel it go tacky against my thighs. Regretting my decision to do the live. Midway through getting fucked and I had to go out there. My stress was coming back. Not good. Still, if it wasn't for Johnny, I don't think I would have made it. Probably I would have had a panic attack or something. This way I managed to do the live.
After the live, after the performance, it went on harder. I was still high. My stress was gone with the last song, burned off, and I was just horny now and relieved. Seunghoon was there in front of me the whole time, all through the set, really, that intense stare of his from behind his fringe, and he was the first to come backstage to find us. I wanted him to fuck me right away. I was so happy and hyped I was practically vibrating. We were both super sweaty from the concert, shirts soaked through, hair plastered to our foreheads. He said he didn't care. He wanted me to keep the eyepatch on and fuck me while I wore it.
It had deteriorated badly and the glue I'd used had stuck it on the wrong spot on my cheek anyway, half hanging off. Still, I kept it on.
We went to the dressing room, and Seunghoon almost tore my shorts with the way he pulled them down (they survived with just some cracking sounds at the seams) and he made me sit on him. God, he was already hard. He just spat on his hand, slapped it onto my ass, and I felt his dick reach up into my stomach, all the way. I had an orgasm just there, before he'd even properly moved.
He was excited. His eyes were shiny and he wouldn't stop kissing me, my jaw, my mouth, the corner of the eyepatch. Then he continued fucking me really hard, hands clamped on my hips hard enough to bruise. I couldn't count how many times I came, how many prostate orgasms I had, one rolling straight into the next. He only stopped when he came.
I was pretty drunk. It was all like one continuous ecstatic state. And that was not how the night ended. Oh no.
Back home we had a private party. Just me, Seunghoon, Johnny, Alexander, the gym guy, Jinho, Seojun and Seojun's husband. Music, horror movies, pizza, drinks. Everyone extremely drunk. Seunghoon wouldn't stop stroking my thighs, Johnny was feeding me pizza, the gym guy was kissing me, Alexander was stroking my hair. Things pretty much led themselves. My shorts and underwear were gone before I knew it. So was my shirt. But the eyepatch had to stay on. Seunghoon insisted.
I wish I remembered every detail clearer. It developed into a foursome, that much I know. Dick in my throat, dick in my ass, the guys all over me. Double penetration. All my men are versatile, but I'm the only bottom, and it was hot seeing them together, hot seeing Alexander fuck Johnny while Johnny was fucking me, hot to have both Seunghoon and the gym guy inside my ass at once, their hips working against each other. Wherever I turned there was one of my favorite guys' mouth, body or dick. It felt very relaxing. It was taking all the stress that had built up before the concert right out of me. I felt very pampered.
Eventually we half sort of passed out, or slept, I don't know. But when we woke up the partying continued and we carried on drinking. We went out, drank more, played all sorts of crazy games, and then back home we were supposed to sleep. I was still horny. Seunghoon went to shower and I joined him. He had to fuck me against the glass with the warm water running over us. He was really forceful, one hand braced on the tile, and the sound of him fucking me was making my whole body shake. The water was amplifying it, echoing off the walls. Prostate orgasm after prostate orgasm. I got a bump on the head from it the next day. And also a bad anal cramp. I couldn't walk properly in the morning. I'd probably overdone it, but I still wanted more in the morning.
Seunghoon said I shouldn't. I insisted, so he fucked me slow. It felt good while he was inside. The cramp still came back afterward, so he gave me a heating pad and made me lie still with it, his thumb moving over my hip.
It took about a day to calm down.
"You use sex to regulate stress," my therapist would say.
Yeah. I do. And it works.